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发表于 2021-3-9 09:40:53 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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婚姻啊,我该怎么选?发表于2011年3月11日

       因为经常上“岳阳石化人网”论坛,看到一些帖子就想谈谈自己的看法,于是就回复一下,有时甚至长篇大论起来,但又深怕耽误了别人的时间,以至于引来无数口水。没想到前天回复的一篇帖子,被论坛管理评为精彩回帖,还加了一个铜币,看来我的一些看法还是在理的。今天特摘录过来,以飨读者诸君。
网友发表帖子的主题是“婚姻啊,该怎么选?”

         老公婚外情爱得理直气壮,没有觉得错了,做老婆的该成全还是放弃?每天都看着老公给情人发消息,老婆累了,离吗?问了自己一万遍,没有结果,是因为孩子?是因为自己没有力气去面对太多了,亲人,朋友,自己的生活圈。。。。

我的回复如下
       世上没有无缘无故的爱,也没有无缘无故的恨。婚姻是人生的必修课,能得多少分,可能还在于自己是否用心哦。结婚和离婚绝对不是单方面一个人的事情,尤其有了孩子之后,离婚更要慎之又慎。不是说儿童是祖国的花朵、民族的未来吗?履行这种责任比追求个人幸福恐怕更有价值吧,不到万不得已不离,尽量挽救才是上上之策。我们买贵重物品不是也讲究原装原配的么?对于由男人的婚外情引起夫妻关系紧张,以致对簿公堂,靠法律武器捍卫婚姻和人格的尊严,凡此种种事例屡见不鲜。楼主是不是可以参考如下建议:

       第一、以一颗包容心对待出轨的男人。根据阴阳论,男属阳,属火,具有阳刚之气,具有发散性、侵略性,因此喜好广播情种,故而把婚外情形象地比喻“玩火”,有婚外情肯定是难以长久隐藏的,除非对方真的是白痴,这叫“纸包不住火”。女属阴,属水,具有阴柔之美,具有收敛性、受纳性。水无形无色无味,把它盛在圆盆里就是圆的,盛在方盆里就是方的,加红颜料就变红,加蓝颜料就变蓝,加糖就是甜的,加醋就是酸的。水的可塑性很强,所以女人多变。正因为女人像水一样,因此她能把男人包住,水能克火,聪明的女人懂得以柔克刚的道理,百尺钢变成绕指柔,纵使铮铮铁汉也被治得服服帖帖。力拔山兮气盖世的英雄,也难逃出美人的手掌心,冲天豪气化作一缕精魂染红了征衣。女人是水,而男人只不过是加入水中的颜料与调味品而已。在家庭出现矛盾的时候,女人一旦丧失水的本性,做河东狮吼,发起火来,只会把男人这堆火越烧越厉害,最后把激情烧没了、感情烧没了、婚姻也烧没了。灭火的最好办法应是发挥水的特性,给他冷却降温,而不是添柴加火。


       第二、改变自己,提升自己的魅力和吸引力。须知爱美之心人皆有之,人人都有审美情趣,不美的东西容易产生审美的视觉疲劳。而男人喜新厌旧,尤其喜欢美女,也是本性所决定的,是男人不都好这一口吗?“士为知己者死,女为悦己者容。”那么女人打扮得花枝招展,打扮给谁看呢,还不是给男人看的,想吸引男人的目光,让男人喜欢她、追捧她,从而产生优越感使自己开心快乐。女人要牢牢抓住男人的心,就得把最精彩的一面展现在自己的男人面前。汉武帝时,李夫人病重,汉武帝亲自去探望她,李夫人却用被子蒙住头不见他。李夫人因为生得漂亮,深得汉武帝的宠爱,在临死前很想把亲生儿子和弟弟托付给汉武帝。按照常规思维,汉武帝来探病她应该主动相见才是,可偏偏李夫人就是不让汉武帝看到自己的脸,就是说话都把脸别到一边去,直到死去,也没有让汉武帝看到她因病憔悴丑陋的形象,而原来漂亮的形象牢牢印在汉武帝的脑海里,汉武帝对她思念不已,她所希望的事情都如愿以偿。现在是网络时代,如何修炼提升魅力的知识网上数不甚数,只要花时间看就可以了。我这里提示大致可以从这些方面考虑:经济上相对独立能挣一份收入;花些时间社交结识一帮益友(除了麻友牌友还可以结交一些养生、教育、美食、美容等方面的专业人士);抽点时间适当户外运动强健身体;吃点喝点抹点保健护肤延缓衰老;挤点时间学习充电做个知性女人。


       第三、动之以情,晓之以理,明之以弊,情理不通,诉诸法律。可以请求双方家长或亲友中德高望重的人出马,冷静地、开诚布公地沟通和谈判。只要愿意坐下来谈,任何问题都能找到好的解决办法。“只要思想不滑坡,办法总比困难多”。首先要端正态度和思想认识,相信能够解决问题,做最好的希望,也做最坏的打算,各自找不对的、做的不好的地方。“知错能改,善莫大焉。”如果确实无法挽救,任何努力都白费,那就只能通过法律判决,妥善处理好财产分割、子女抚养等问题,重新开始新的生活。


       一孔之见,仅作参考。热心的网友也发表了不少高见,毕竟共同生活在岳阳这片土地上,又以石化职工居多,有同事同乡之谊,个别不中听的话请甭计较,所谓“清者自清”,是非曲直,公道自在人心。能相聚在这里给力地讲废话、看废话,甚至巨多潜水高手,连泡都不冒一个,那都是缘分呀!请大家珍惜缘分吧,善待自己,也善待他人,相信神马好运都会带给您!




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发表于 2021-3-14 18:01:01 | 显示全部楼层
观点很好,有深度,富有建设性,好!
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发表于 2023-6-8 15:23:48 | 显示全部楼层
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
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发表于 2023-8-10 14:41:38 | 显示全部楼层
Don’t worry about the vague future, just strive for the clear present. 不为模糊不清的未来担忧,只为清清楚楚的现在努力。100%福彩3D Don’t worry about the vague future, just strive for the clear present. 不为模糊不清的未来担忧,只为清清楚楚的现在努力。Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly. 宁愿做事不完美,总比完美地不做事要好。查看168排列3#There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. 有太多太多美好的理由让你笑对生活。 In the past, I only wanted people to see the best of me. Now, I find that I do not mind you seeing my faults because I want you to accept me the way I am. 以往,我只在人前呈现出最好的一面。如今我不介意你看到我的缺点,因为我希望你接受的,是一个完整的我。 查看快乐8 三更灯火五更鸡,正是男儿读书时;黑发不知勤学早,白首方悔读书迟。 出自唐颜真卿There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. 有太多太多美好的理由让你笑对生活。#查看168开奖


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发表于 2024-5-22 15:29:39 | 显示全部楼层
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